This is part 4 and the last of my 2023 update. Part 3 here.
A few weeks in North America
I was in New York only a few days, enough time to meet friends and family, and get stranded in Midtown at 1 am without a way to pay for the train. Not enough time to go to MoMa, which remains on my list.
Toronto was longer - a couple of weeks. Enough time to have some parties, see some art and the symphony. Not nearly long enough.
My cousin got married on Mackinaw Island, where the couple had come for one of their first trips together. Horse carriages and bicycles were the only modes of transport on the car-less island.
The wedding was beautiful, my first time witnessing Jewish traditions.
Afterwards I spent two quiet weeks with my brothers family and mom in Wisconsin, and then headed back to Delhi.
On the flight, I read a book about the bullet journal method, and loved it, and decided to incorporate themes from it into the art notebook I’d been carrying around. More on that later :)
Fall in Delhi
July - September
Moving In
I got back in early July and moved directly into the new place, and threw a party the following weekend with homemade pizza and cookies and a house cocktail.
The space was beautiful. Having lived in Delhi’s relative wilderness for so many years, it was an entirely new experience to have a place of my own—one filled with people I love. My commute to meet friends or go to events went from about 90 minutes to around 20.
Over the next few months, I executed all the plans I’d dreamt of for my life in the new space. I signed up for a dating service, started making kombucha at home. I started art and golf lessons, both now less than ten minutes away. I went to many more social events and met many new people - my favorite thing in the world :)
But while there was a lot that was going well, there were things that weren’t too.
The first few weeks in Delhi were exhausting. I was severely jet lagged, and getting hardly any sleep. All day I was setting up the house, all night I was working for the US company. I’d get a couple of hours of sleep between 6 and 8 am.
This level of fatigue completely wore me down. A few weeks into this routine, after a particular difficult conversation, I succembed. I slammed doors, punched the walls, screamed, and threw things. Eventually raging gave way to crying, but even after a nice long cry, I couldn’t fall asleep. I hadn’t been angry like this in a while, and my hand was swollen for weeks.
In hindsight, I realize it wasn’t even anger. It was grief, frustration and deep, deep exhaustion.
Soon after we moved, Casper got sick. I really wanted him to move to the new house, which I’d chosen partly for him. He loved walking outside and smelling things, but too many dogs lived in the street outside the old house for him to venture past our driveway.
Through his illness, we did manage one long walk in the alleys and parks of the new neighbourhood. He didn’t recover though, and passed a few weeks later. 💔
Settling Down
In the next few months I setup my company, hired interns, and started working on a number of projects - kitaabnama.com and consulting work in India, in addition to my US work. I started teaching my course, working with 10 college kids at one point.
Through this time, I loved my house. I loved just being there in the evenings and at night, alone, walking the halls. I loved waking up to trees outside, loved the nighttime walks in the parks. I loved being able to host parties and guests, loved setting up my office, working on the dining table, making art for the walls.
After years and years of moving and travelling and being unsure how long I’d be in any place, I loved being home.
An unexpected love
In October I met a girl. She was a colleague of a friend, in Delhi for work. Our first date was a history walk, and though I hadn’t really thought of dating her, at some point in the evening I realized that she was incredibly smart, curious, and well-read.
We went on a couple more dates, and shortly after, to Goa for 4 perfect days. Though she travelled a lot for work, from then on, we spent almost all our time in Delhi together.
We worked and read side by side. We baked, played card games, and spoke endlessly. We hosted and went to for events, did little projects. Over the next few months, I felt love in a way that I hadn’t in years, felt love with an intensity that surprised me.
Stress
November turned out to be one of the most difficult months of my life. I had a deadline to complete the paperwork for a small apartment I’d bought in Toronto. If I failed, a majority of my life savings would stand forfeit.
I was assured by my team that the paperwork would be complete by the deadline, but 2 days before, I was told to ask for an extension from the seller.
The seller was within their rights to refuse, but after some pleading part agreed to extend by a week, subject to a daily penalty. As we approached the end of that week, we weren’t ready.
In total we got three extensions this way - assurances, followed by a requirement for an extension, an initial refusal followed by pleading, negotiation, penalties, and finally, an extension.
Through the whole process there were always urgent requests - documentation, follow up calls, and signatures and records. That meant staying up each weeknight until the close of business on the east coast, or about 4 am IST.
An entire month with the stress dialed up to full. Exhausting.
Finally, thankfully, the transaction closed just before thanksgiving.
Back in IST.
The next week I quit my US job. I’d done it in part to make sure I could afford to close the house. I’d worked there for a year, almost non stop, and the work was going nowhere. Working nights had left me exhausted, and I’d built enough momentum with my own work to make the transition.
It was time to return to day light.
In December I took a couple of trips - with the girlfriend to Dubai, missing my first flight ever on the way there, and to Goa in late December with my school friends.
Afterwards, I went to the ashram and had a quiet end to the year.
One thing I realize as I write this - its only the big things that make it into the update - the trips, the new hobbies, the big moves. What’s hard to capture is the mundane details - the yoga that I did fairly regularly this year, the workouts that became part of my week, practicing sketching, making art.
Some honourable mentions -
Incorporation - I incorporated a company in India. It took months of speaking to people, paperwork, urgent deadlines, and legal complexity. It was not fun.
Tax Hell - I’d never cleaned up my taxes because of the hesitant move to India. I had to clean up taxes for two years, between India and Canada and the new corporation. Dealing with two accounting teams in 2 time zones. Months of not fun work.
Work Subterfuge - This was kinda fun. Travelling while working remotely. Don’t ask don’t tell.
Did an art exhibit - Sold some art :)
I finish writing this just as 2024 draws to a close. I’m a year behind on my updates 🙈
Merry Christmas and Happy New year everyone!
<3
Devansh
Hanoi, 25th December 2024
2024 Update here.